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A
Match Made in Heaven- Part Two, They Did It!
After twelve years of friendship and love
Gilles and JP, owners of Zig's Bar in Sudbury Ontario, were married in a
legally binding ceremony in front of friends and family on July 04,
2005.
The wedding
was small, tasteful, and held in their bar which had been transformed
into a private grotto of glittering white lights and shimmering white
flowers.
Family and friends attended the joyful
celebration that was the culmination and representation of many years of
dedication and commitment between these two men.
JP looked a bit nervous beforehand; I got
the feeling that had much more to do with having all those people
watching him than it had to the fact that he was about to get married!
Gilles just looked happy, the grin rarely leaving his face... except for
a few short moments when the crowd was watching, the music was
playing, and he had nothing to do... but wait.
Then the waiting was over and suddenly the deed was done. The vows
were made, rings changed hands, papers were signed and witnessed and a
new couple, bound together always by their love and now bound together
by the new laws of this great country, stood there before us. Happy, a
little shy and overwhelmed perhaps; their families smiling in support
and love.
The evening was filled with the same
consideration these men show in everything. The food, the so tasty food,
was served in never ending rounds by charming people trying to stuff you
senseless it seemed. And... when was the last time you went to a wedding
where you could order any drink you wanted, absolutely anything, and
have it made, to perfection, within seconds? I hate weddings. Or at
least I used too. I am thinking, now, I have just never been to a good
one before! Who knew? It was a, truly, lovely night.
But...
As I stood watching these two... nice
men taking legal vows to spend the rest of their lives together I felt a
deep sense of disorientation and shame. I've spent my life living in
what I've always considered countries that were free and forward
thinking and fair to all their citizens. And yet this event, this
marriage, could not have happened until very recently. And it could still
only happen in three countries on this planet. Three!
Two people in love who had proved their
loyalty and commitment to each other through twelve years of what for
all practical purposes has been a marriage, have been unable, until
tonight, to enjoy the same rights and protections for their relationship
that I have never had to give a second thought.
I can marry any time I want. With as much
forethought, care, and responsibility as it would take to hire a few
minutes in a Las Vegas marriage chapel, with a stranger, between rounds
at the casino next door.
That this ceremony I watched between two
loving, responsible people would have been no more legally binding than
a dramatic production at a local theater only a short while ago left me
physically and literally dizzy with the implications of it! I have known
for a long time the unfairness of our laws defining what a marriage is
allowed to be, but I have not known what it really meant. Why,
how!, can the religious opinions of anyone dictate a law that affects
others, who do not share that faith based belief, is beyond my
understanding of right and wrong. And beyond my understanding of
Christian charity and love. It makes no more sense to me than saying
that since my neighbor thinks driving red cars is too sexy and incites
others to lust, (others, as in himself, perhaps?) there should be a
law that says I cannot legally drive red colored cars! Huh?
I have heard many Christians talk about
the "insanity" of Islamic laws, how rights are infringed upon, how
atrocities can occur when the religious opinions of some create the
civil laws
that govern the lives of all, no matter the spiritual beliefs of the others
involved.
I've heard it called unfair, barbaric, cruel, wrong. And yet it
seems to be those same voices that are raised to stop legal gay
marriages, based solely on their own personal belief that it's just not
nice. This must be one of those glass house and tossing stones
sets of circumstances!
I wanted to run to Gilles and JP after
the ceremony and apologize for my thickheadness in not really
appreciating the discrimination and unfairness they've had to live with
all their lives. Right here in Canada! This great land of freedom,
human rights, charity, and fairness for all has been none of those
things for these two hard working, generous, and polite citizens. But I
did not apologize. It was not the time or place. It was a time of long
awaited fulfillment of a dream two men have shared; it was an evening of
joy, promise, and perhaps... it was even an evening of freedom, human rights,
charity, and fairness. Congratulations Gilles and JP!
Congratulations Canada. I am prouder of
you tonight than I have ever been.
Words to help the directories find this
page...
Zig's Bar, Sudbury Ontario
Gay Marriage in Ontario
Gay Weddings in Ontario
A Gay Couple's Wedding Day
Gay Bars, Ontario
Gay Pride in Ontario
Gay, Bisexual, and Straight Bars
Being Gay in Ontario
Where to go in Sudbury Ontario
Bars in Sudbury Ontario
Nightlife in Sudbury Ontario
