Spanish Joe
The World's Only
Psychic Groundhog!
Monthly Predictions - April 2004
Northern Ontario
A MNR biologist will be injured due to a severe pecking. They will
investigate a report of a large group of wild turkeys north of Timmins,
which the biologists say should not be in this area. Biologist will be
bushwhacked by these wild turkeys who proceeded to peck him badly around
the buttocks and hands. He will recover with no lasting affects and the
turkeys will be heard and seen gobbling (possibly laughing) their way
back south, muttering "that will teach them to sit on their ***".
World Wide
There will be massive floods in Europe during the month of April or May
and it will be especially severe in France. This will affect the exports
of fine French Wines which will result in the immediate termination of
their worldwide exportation. Wine connoisseurs worldwide will switch to
Canadian Beer (and apparently hockey too)!
Universal
The Mars Explorers will accidentally take a skyward picture and it will
show a object that NASA will immediately classify as the usual UFO
variety sighting. They will not comment further on this, however experts
suggest that they have substantial and undisputed proof it was a
................... that was ................ on the ............... and
.......... (Editors Note: this was classified as a security risk and
therefore immediately censored!)
